“Just Chillaxin’”

As I was lying on the couch today, “chillaxin’” as the kids call it (chillin’ and relaxin’), snuggled under a light cover, the windows open… allowing a slight fall breeze to flow through the house – my two furry babies fast asleep by my side (occasionally snorting and snoring), I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of mine earlier in the year.

This friend of mine and I both volunteer for an animal welfare organization, and we were talking about how wonderful it is how often dogs are rescued from local shelters and later trained to become service animals. She then told me something really amazing… something that I had never heard before.

She, like I, suffers from depression. However, she chose not to use traditional medications to treat her depression. Instead she is using natural remedies to manage her disease. While I knew this information, I found the following very fascinating: Her doctor has “prescribed” her dog (a small breed mutt) as her service animal.

Because she gets very anxious and agitated, and she draws comfort from the familiarity of her beloved furry baby, she is allowed to take him out with her, in public settings, anywhere any other service animal would be allowed to go. If it were not for the creativity of this doctor, my friend would very likely be a prisoner in her own home during the times she needs to be out and around other people the most.

Now, she told me she gets very skeptical looks from a lot of people and is questioned from time to time – most times being asked to show her credentials before being allowed to bring her canine into a facility. But once she shows her certification, she isn’t turned away. Heck, I can understand people being uncertain about the situation.

I’ve written many times about the taboo of mental illness. I’m sure even though proprietors accept her paperwork that some still don’t understand her situation. But, I’m glad that her doctor was open minded enough to try something different so that just one more person with this disease called depression can live her life a bit more like other folks. KUDOS!

A Secret Place

When I was a young girl, my favorite “secret” place to play was my grandfather’s woods. He had a creek that ran through his property and I would go there, take off my shoes and socks, and tip toe over the mossy creek rock for hours. I would watch the crawdads and water-bugs doing what they were made to do. It seemed so easy to get caught up in my own solitude… no thoughts running through my mind; no worries burdening my soul. I felt carefree.

Those days are precious to me and they remain locked securely in the banks of my mind. I often wish I could go back to that place and be that carefree girl, if just for a moment… the water running over my toes and the sun shining on my face.

But, I’m older now and sticky spider webs freak me out – snakes, too! The thought of traipsing through those woods - to get to that creek - both physically and mentally exhausts me. So, I thank God for the memories He has blessed me with of those days of old and for the new “secret” place He allowed me stumble upon. I pray He has shown you yours, as well. If not, allow Him the opportunity. You’d be amazed the blessings that will follow.

Strength

My son just turned 24 a little over a week ago. Even though he is an adult and has a child of his own, a job he really loves, and plans on going to college soon – I worry about him constantly.

A friend of mine has a son that will be turning 18 this week. He is lying in a hospital bed – he’s been in an assisted living facility for several years now. He does get out of that bed long enough to be pushed around in his custom made wheel chair. A chair his mother fought for… the same mother that has fought nurses and doctors and legislators regarding the care of her son. She worries about her son constantly, also.

When I think about them, I know that my concerns are so much less than hers. But still at that same time – they’re mine. I love my son as much as she loves hers. However, I draw strength from what she’s been through. Would I be able to tackle the hurdles that she has already faced over the last several years? I hope so. I’m sure with God I could… I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me (Phil 4:13). But I thank God that I haven’t been put in that situation.

I look to my friend for strength when I feel discouraged. I don’t know if she’s realized that a lot of mothers probably do that. She is a great example of God’s love and patience and strength. She may feel at times that she has been given a heavy burden to bear, but I hope she also realizes that God is using her in another capacity too… as a pillar of inspiration to me and others. Thanks Be to God!

My "God and Me" Day

Woke up this morning and decided to have a “God and me” day. Grabbed a lunch, my camera and computer, and headed to the nearby nature preserve. What a wonderful day. I felt compelled to share.

The Beginning of the End

When I was a junior in high school, I took a composition class. The very first day we were given the following assignment: Write an essay titled “The Beginning of the End”. I couldn’t wrap my head around that idea. What the heck did that even mean? Even after the teacher explained what she expected out of the paper, I just didn’t get it! So I did the only mature thing I could think of to do. I got myself transferred out of that class!

Well, sitting here twenty seven years later it all makes perfect sense to me. What changed? Life happened! Between then and now there have been so many “beginning to ends” in my life... Senior year was the beginning to the end of my high school career. Marriage was the beginning to the end of my single life. My pregnancy was the beginning to the end of my life as I knew it! And on and on.

But, when I was in high school, I didn’t understand the assignment and so, like I said, I just walked away. I didn’t want to do that paper incorrectly and make a fool of myself. I was way too cool for that! The alternative was much easier. You know what, though? I think if I would have allowed myself to stay in that class I would have enjoyed it. I like writing. I enjoyed Composition in College!

Sometimes we hold ourselves back out of fear OR low self-esteem OR some other worry. I have learned that I shouldn’t worry what other people think of me – only God will judge me when it counts. I have learned that the more I put myself in uncomfortable situations, the more I will become comfortable. I have learned I’m not too cool for pretty much anything… LOL.

I still get scared, frustrated and weak in the knees when I do something that's "out of the box" for me. But, I'll give it a try instead of just give up and walk away. I may fail... but I'll go down swinging. And I can live with that.

Thought for the Day

Sadness leaves us behind...
Anger traps us...
Laughter helps us move forward...

Author Unknown

Telling the Past

Granma and Granpa wanted me to know of the past, for “If ye don’t know the past, then ye will not have a future. If ye don’t know where your people have been, then ye won’t know where your people are going.” And so they told me most of it.
The Education of Little Tree by Forrest Carter

In today’s society, genealogy is THE fad. Everyone wants to know where they came from. But is that really the truth? Do they really want to know WHERE they came from or just WHO they came from? To really know where we came from we must know the triumphs and struggles of our ancestors – not just their names.

I want my granddaughter to know where she came from. If she does, maybe she’ll understand why I feel so passionate about certain things. I feel my past has made me who I am today. But how do you teach them about the past? Be creative. For instance, I have a small pair of praying hands on the bookcase in my living room that was made by an Indian Chief in North Carolina. The Indian Chief made this small sculpture - and others like it - as a means to support his family. I was drawn to it because it reminded me of my paternal grandmother. She was of Indian lineage. That pair of praying hands will be a great “hands on” tool to use when telling my granddaughter about her great-great grandmother.

I also have a book that displays stories, pictures, and important dates about my family, my husband’s family, and my son’s father’s family. This book will prove to be a valuable asset to my son and granddaughter when I’m long gone. In addition, I’ve completed a “List Yourself” book that has given me an opportunity to write a lot of stories about my life. I’ve secured this book for my son upon my death. Plus, I believe this blog provides information for my family about me.

For some reason, I am comfortable when I write on these pages. Most times, I feel pushed by a power I can’t explain - I can only describe it as a stirring in my heart. I hope my words touch your heart as well.