When I was a junior in high school, I took a composition class. The very first day we were given the following assignment: Write an essay titled “The Beginning of the End”. I couldn’t wrap my head around that idea. What the heck did that even mean? Even after the teacher explained what she expected out of the paper, I just didn’t get it! So I did the only mature thing I could think of to do. I got myself transferred out of that class!
Well, sitting here twenty seven years later it all makes perfect sense to me. What changed? Life happened! Between then and now there have been so many “beginning to ends” in my life... Senior year was the beginning to the end of my high school career. Marriage was the beginning to the end of my single life. My pregnancy was the beginning to the end of my life as I knew it! And on and on.
But, when I was in high school, I didn’t understand the assignment and so, like I said, I just walked away. I didn’t want to do that paper incorrectly and make a fool of myself. I was way too cool for that! The alternative was much easier. You know what, though? I think if I would have allowed myself to stay in that class I would have enjoyed it. I like writing. I enjoyed Composition in College!
Sometimes we hold ourselves back out of fear OR low self-esteem OR some other worry. I have learned that I shouldn’t worry what other people think of me – only God will judge me when it counts. I have learned that the more I put myself in uncomfortable situations, the more I will become comfortable. I have learned I’m not too cool for pretty much anything… LOL.
I still get scared, frustrated and weak in the knees when I do something that's "out of the box" for me. But, I'll give it a try instead of just give up and walk away. I may fail... but I'll go down swinging. And I can live with that.
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