Conversions

There’s a story in the Bible about a “conversion” of a man called Saul (New Testament not Old). Saul was an angry man and an extreme persecutor of Christians. One day he was traveling to Damascus. He was going there to arrest any Christians that were there in the synagogues. On route, a bright light suddenly shone down from Heaven on Saul and he fell to the ground. In a loud voice, Jesus confronted him saying, “Saul, why do you persecute me?” Then, Jesus instructed him to continue on his way to Damascus. He told him that once he arrived in Damascus, he would be told what to do. When Saul got up, he was blind! He remained blind for three days. That whole time he didn’t have anything to eat or drink. He even had to be lead by the hand into the city. In the meanwhile, God told a man named Ananias (in a dream) that he should go see Saul. Ananias found Saul and healed him. Then, he told him to be baptized to wash away his sins. After this, Saul truly repented for the things he had done in his life. He began to live for Christ! He even went as far as changing his name to Paul, and spent the rest of his life teaching people about Jesus. (He ultimately encouraged all followers of Christ to think correctly about themselves -Romans 12:3, to think correctly about other believers-Romans 12:4-5, and to think correctly about spiritual gifts-Romans 12:6-8.*) Paul, the apostle, who at one time was an extreme persecutor of Christians, suffered many persecutions himself.

When I read this story about Paul, I often reflect on my baptism (my 2nd) in January 2000. I had gone through so much with my disease, especially in 1999, that with my baptism I felt like a different person.

Then, in 2009, I received notification of my 25th High School Reunion. I did NOT want to attend! I was NOT the same person I was in high school. Not only did I go through the normal high school rebellions – but I started noticing the beginnings of my Bi Polar illness around the same time puberty started. As a result, I did a lot of stupid, stupid things in high school. I felt so much confusion during those years. I can honestly say I even had a hatred for myself. I wanted so much to just disappear. Many times I thought about suicide but I was afraid….afraid of death, afraid of dying, afraid of not succeeding – so many things. Anyway, because of all the things I wanted to forget about high school, I just couldn’t face my former classmates at that reunion.

And then a funny thing happened…. I joined Facebook (a social network on the internet). It amazed me how many people from high school contacted me and wanted to be “friends” with me. They didn’t remember me the way I remembered me! One person even sent me a private message saying that I made a difference in their life in high school. I couldn’t imagine how that could possibly be. I can’t say that I began to wish I had gone to the reunion – that would be a lie. But I am glad for the circle of friends that I have allowed back into my life – or should I say that has allowed me back into their lives. And I thank God nearly every day for “My Conversion” from that scared little girl in high school.

* How a Renewed Mind Thinks Part 1 - Insight for Living with Chuck Swindoll - Wednesday, Aug 25, 2010 Romans 12: 3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[a]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.