Nosy Neighbor

The last couple of weeks I’ve noticed a lot of what’s been WRONG in the lives of my friends…. and in each case, I’ve WANTED to step up and do my Christian Duty to help them with their problems (by offering my expertise in each instance, of course). I mean, I’m sure they would welcome my point of view of what I think needs to be done to fix their problems… Don’tcha think?

Isn’t it funny that we can so easily see the flaws in others and ignore them in ourselves? Plus, I can almost immediately find a solution to someone else’s predicaments but when it comes to my problems, I can lie awake in bed for hours at night worrying over them and I never find an answer to straighten things out. Also, it sometimes drives me crazy when somebody can’t make a decision about something that seems so clear to me but often times I can’t even decide what color to paint my own toenails.

Why is it we can be so intolerant of others? Why do we have the capability of being so judgmental? And why does it never seem to astound us that others carry those same traits?

I try very hard to live my life by Jesus’ two Great Commandments found in Luke 10:27: He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " (It seems I tend to frequently come up short on the neighbor point…. But, I recognize that I’m only human and I continue to try to do my best.)

I don’t know, maybe it makes people feel better to know that their life may be a mess BUT it’s not such a mess as “so and so’s” life. Kinda like the reverse of “Keeping up with the Jones”! In any case, I’ve always written about “accepting a person with Mental Illness” and “spreading the word to release the taboo”…. I figured today I’d write about something a little broader like…. How ‘bout we just accept everybody, period.

Who has your back?

The most memorable people in your life will be those who loved you when you didn't love yourself. – Unknown

The following excerpts are from “We Are Not Meant to Live Alone” by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. - Dr Paul is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?"

….I have also heard that the number one killer in our society is not cancer or heart disease – it is loneliness. This is not a surprise to me, as loneliness is often the underlying feeling that so many people attempt to avoid with their various addictions.

The feeling of loneliness may be so painful that you turn to various addictions to avoid the feeling. Many people do not even know that they are feeling lonely because they respond addictively so quickly. They grab the food, the drink, the drug, the cigarette, turn on the TV, get busy, or get angry before they are aware of having a feeling, and then wonder why they cannot stop their addictions. Often people become addicted to a dysfunctional relationship and cannot leave for fear of the loneliness and disconnection. When people are not connected with themselves and their spiritual guidance, they may have a connection addiction, constantly pulling on others for the connection they so desperately need.

Without caring family, community, or friends to turn to, we lack the connection with others that we all need. However, in order to feel connected with others, we first need to be connected with ourselves.

Do not discount the power and importance of inner and relationship connection. If you want optimal health, you need to take the action in your own behalf to seek out loving and caring people and to do the inner work necessary to become a loving and caring person with yourself and with others.

To find more of Dr Paul's philosophy, check out - http://www.buzzle.com/articles/we-are-not-meant-to-live-alone.html

ONE TOUCH

by Nicole C Mullen

Been ostracized for 12 years, I’m used to being alone. Spent everything I had and now it’s gone.
I’m used to being put down, my issues tell it all. My only hope is anchored in this fall.

(CHORUS)
If I could just touch the hem of His garment, I know I’d be made whole.
If I could just press my way thru this madness, His love would heal my soul.
If only one touch…

So many people calling. How could He ever know that just a brush of Him would stop the flow?
If he knew would He rebuke me or shame me to the crowd?
Well I’m desperate ‘cause it’s never or it’s now.

(CHORUS)

Then, Suddenly He turned around. He said somebody has unleashed my power.
Well, Frightened and embarrassed I bowed. You see I told Him of my troubles and how…

I had to touch the Hem of His garment and I know I’ve been made whole.
And how I had pressed my way thru the madness and His love has healed my soul.

Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment and you know I’ve been made whole.
And somehow He pressed His way thru my madness and His love has healed my soul.

(This song is about the story in Luke 8:40-48 and Mark 5:21-34)

The woman in this story had suffered for so long. Not only had she physically suffered – EVERYONE she knew, and everyone she came in contact with, shunned her because of her disease. They considered her dirty and she was ashamed of her condition. She was so desperate and she went to see Jesus. She made her way through the crowd and pushed her arm between the people just so she barely touched the hem of His robe. She had that much faith in Him –“If I could just touch the hem of His garment, I know I’d be made whole.” Now, she must have been petrified when he called her out! Not only did she have to face Him for what she’d done. The whole crowd was watching – Jesus stopped what He was doing and put all the attention basically on her! Did she run and hide or crumble before the crowd? No. She met Jesus – one on one – forgetting the crowd. With her faith, He felt compassion and healed her. What an amazing testimony!

The taboo of Mental Illness has dissipated somewhat over the last decade or so. But many people are still ostracized by friends and family today. The same way the woman in this story was during her time. (Her infirmary was a bleeding disorder.) Maybe the reason for the distance between some people and their family members and friends in today's society is because a lot of people just don't understand the illnesses. Lack of education can be a scary thing. And, quite honestly, in my opinion, Hollywood doesn’t really do much to help the situation. Many times movies dealing with this topic are released more for their shock value.(One exception would be "A Beautiful Mind".) I urge you to do your best to educate others about Mental Illness. For yourself and future generations.

Photo - preacher1.wordpress.com

WHO ARE YOU? I Really Wanna Know!

The four temperament types:

Sanguine - The Sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings and making new friends. They tend to be creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean very sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when pursuing a new hobby, interest is lost quickly when it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy.

Choleric - A person who is choleric is a doer. They have a lot of ambition, energy, and passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were cholerics. They like to be leaders and in charge of everything.

Melancholic - A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very considerate, melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist. They are often self-reliant and independent.

Phlegmatic - Phlegmatics tend to be self-content and kind. They can be very accepting and affectionate. They may be very receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are very consistent, relaxed, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats.

I tried to discern which personality type I was and I really couldn’t decide. You see, when I’m depressed, I lean more toward the Melancholic temperament. When I’m Manic – the Sanguine. The rest of the time, I kinda float between the Choleric and Phlegmatic. I keep my husband on his toes… Bless his heart! Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading over the four temperament types and possible learning a little bit about yourself.

Information found on en.wikipedia.org
Photo - File:Lavater1.jpg from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Pop Quiz

Grab a piece of paper, write down your answer – Check your accuracy at the end.

1.One in (4 10 25) adults experiences a mental health disorder in a given year.
One in (7 17 30) lives with a serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, major depression or bipolar disorder.
About one in (10 20 30) children live with a serious mental or emotional disorder.

2.Major depressive disorder affects (5.8 6.7 12.6) percent of adults. According to the 2004 World Health Report, this is the leading cause of disability in the US and Canada for persons (15-44 23-50 18-48).

3.Anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), generalized anxiety disorder and phobias, affect about (10.6 18.7 25.5) percent of adults.

4.One-half of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age (14 18 26), three-quarters by age (19 24 31).

5.Fewer than one-third of adults and (1/4 1/3 1/2) of children with a diagnosable mental disorder receive mental health services in a given year.

6.Suicide is the eleventh-leading cause of death in the Unites States and the (3rd 5th 9th) leading cause of death for people ages 10-24 years. More than (70 80 90) percent of those who die by suicide have a diagnosable mental disorder.

7.Over (25 40 50) percent of students with a mental disorder age 14 and older drop out of high school—the highest dropout rate of any disability group.


Maybe, just maybe, by talking about these statistics we can make a change in them. Mental illness doesn’t have to continue being a taboo subject. We can make a difference! It sometimes takes just one person to start a movement.

Statistical information: www.nami.org - Mental Illness: FACTS AND NUMBERS
“Simply put, treatment works, if you can get it. But in America today, it is clear that many people living with mental illness are not provided with the essential treatment they need.”
—Michael J. Fitzpatrick, executive director of NAMI National, National Alliance on Mental Illness, Grading the States 2006, Arlington, Va.

Answers:
1. 4, 17, 10
2. 6.7, 15-44
3. 18.7
4. 14, 24
5. ½
6. 3rd, 90%
7. 50%

Photo - www.course-notes.org

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”


Author - Mary Stevenson

A Matter of Strength

I met a young girl today that really touched my heart. She had extreme TRUST issues. So much so that she may never be able to live the type of life that you and I would consider “normal”. You see, her “normal” for so long was not being able to depend on anyone in her life. Ever! She won’t allow herself to get close to anyone because she’s been hurt so many times before. It’s easier for her to go through life without close relationships because by doing so she is insuring herself she won’t be hurt again.

I held another young lady in my arms tonight as she cried for a relative that died in the hospital today. She told me that he had lived his life on the wild side... his death inadvertently may have been taken as a result of that life lived - another bad choice he made. Her heart was broken and she didn't understand it all.

When I was deep within my own walls of depression, I felt the same way these kids do now. To be totally honest, even though I am a firm believer in God's Love, there are times now, when things happen in my life, I still feel lost and alone. I think we all feel vulnerable at times. But with therapy and medication, I have learned that I don't have to feel that way 24/7.

I pray God comforts these young women. What they both are going through can be devastating. I hope they find peace and strength. I feel I am blessed because I have found strength through Jesus Christ and I know that He is there... especially when all strength is gone.


Photo - http://www.christianwomenonline.net/scripturetags.html

Have you ever felt alone with your depression?

The following is an excerpt from en.wikipedia.org:

This is a list of people who have, or have had, depression. A number of well-known people have suffered from major depressive disorder. While depression was sometimes seen as a shameful secret until the 1970s, society has since begun discussing depression more openly. Earlier figures were often reluctant to discuss or seek treatment for depression due to social stigma about the condition, or due to ignorance of diagnosis or treatments. Some historical personalities are presumed to have suffered from depression based on analysis or interpretation of letters, journals, artwork, writings or statements of family and friends.

(I have only included a select number of the 195 names from the website list.)

Hans Christian Andersen, Danish writer
Terry Bradshaw, American football player
Drew Carey, American comedian and actor
Jim Carrey, Canadian actor and comedian
Agatha Christie, English crime writer
Kirsten Dunst, American actress
T. S. Eliot, American poet
Harrison Ford, American actor
Vincent van Gogh, Dutch painter
Anne Hathaway, American actress
Ernest Hemingway, American writer
Ashley Judd, American actress
Beyoncé Knowles, American singer-songwriter
Hugh Laurie, British actor
Martin Luther, German priest and theologian
Michelangelo, Italian painter and sculptor
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Austrian composer
Isaac Newton, British physicist
Marie Osmond, American musician
J. K. Rowling, British writer
Mark Twain, American writer
Mike Wallace, American journalist on 60 Minutes

These people are/were amazing people in their fields! What astounding minds… Newton, Hemingway and T S Eliot. What amazing talent… Mozart , Michelangelo and Van Gogh. They achieved miraculous things in their lifetimes despite their mental illnesses. I may not like this disease called depression but it’s encouraging to me to be included in a list such as this!

50 Lessons Life Taught Me

50 Lessons Life Taught Me
Written by Regina Brett
Cleveland , Ohio



"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.”

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'.You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Regina Brett (born May 31, 1956) is a columnist for The Plain Dealer, a daily newspaper serving Cleveland, Ohio. She was a Pulitzer Prize finalist for commentary in 2008 and 2009.[1] Her first book, "God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life's Little Detours" was published in April, 2010 by Grand Central Publishing. In 1998, Brett was diagnosed with breast cancer and included her experiences of chemotherapy and her recuperation in her columns in the Akron Beacon Journal. These columns earned her a National Headliner Award. The "50 Life Lessons" column has been expanded to fifty chapters for her upcoming book, "God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life's Little Detours"

One More Bullfrog….

When I was a little girl, maybe 10 or so, my father accidently ran over a bullfrog in our yard with the riding lawn mower. Now, I must preface this story with a few facts:

1. I was a child filled with compassion for animals – I still am a huge animal advocate.
2. My grandmother was a LPN – (Licensed Practical Nurse).
3. My grandmother was not a warm and fuzzy woman nor was she a huge animal advocate like myself.

Anyway, when my father accidently ran over this adorable, helpless, slimy, gigantic green bullfrog with our lawn mower – I FREAKED OUT! Blood was all over the ground around him. He had massive cuts deep into his muscle tissue and tendons. (Hey, I also loved to watch Quincy at that time, too!) But, I was certain that my grandmother could save his life.

So, I picked up this wounded creature, did mouth to mouth (just joking), and ran down the gravel road to my grandmother’s house. I didn’t even know if his little heart was still beating, but I did know that he was definitely in critical condition at the very least. When, I finally made it to grandmother’s house, I flew onto the front porch and pushed the door open with all my might. As I made my way to the kitchen table, I screamed, “Granny, come quick!”

As I flopped my bloody patient onto the table, nothing I had envisioned happening actual did happen. First of all, I imagined my grandmother saying, “Oh my goodness. Let me get my suture kit - (again Quincy MD) and I’ll fix this poor baby right up!” What did happen? My grandmother FREAKED OUT! It seems she didn’t appreciate having a bloody bullfrog on the same table she served “beans, cornbread, and fried tators”. I was shocked! Couldn’t she see how important this was too me?

I look back at that story now and I wonder how I would have reacted if my son had brought a bloody bullfrog home to me when he was growing up? What if my granddaughter brings one home someday? Everything we do we do for our own reasons. When we don’t agree with a person’s actions, do we take time to look at the situation from their perspective? If we all did maybe there’d be one more bullfrog in the world today… lol.

Bullfrog picture - Karen Francl (photographer, copyright holder), Radford University

Annie Johnson Flint Poem

I know not, but God knows;
Oh, blessed rest from fear!
All my unfolding days
To him are plain and clear.
Each anxious, puzzled "Why?"
From doubt or dread that grows,
Finds answer in this thought:
I know not, but God knows.
I cannot, but God can;
Oh, balm for all my care!
The burden that I drop
His hand will lift and bear.
Though eagle pinions tire,
I walk where once I ran,
This is my strength to know
I cannot, but he can.
I see not, but God sees;
Oh all sufficient light!
My dark and hidden way
To Him is always bright.
My strained and peering eyes
May close in restful ease,
And in peace may sleep:
I see not, but he sees

Eagle Photo - www.homeofheroes.com/hallofheroes/1st_floor/flag/1bfc_eagle.html

Depression is more than just being SAD…

Okay, if you have a television or radio, you have probably heard references to things like “Serotonin” and “MAO inhibitors” in regards to depression. If you’re like me, you’re wondering just what in the world those things are.

I have always believed that depression is more than just being sad. I was told many years ago that clinical depression involves a chemical imbalance within the brain. I’ve even read books about it. But, I have to admit, every time I hear commercials about SSRIs, etc. – I feel pretty lost. So, I decided to do a little research.

According to wiki.answers.com, Serotonin is one of the many 'transmitter' chemicals that basically “helps” send information from one neuron to another. Serotonin can also do the following: Give us self-confidence or a feeling of safety and security; cause us to feel sleepy, and increase our appetites. It seems that an imbalance in serotonin levels may influence mood in a way that leads to depression.

The medications on the market right now that regulate the serotonin level are not just limited to changing our self-confidence – if one part of the serotonin is affected, all parts are. That’s why the medications can cause drowsiness and affect our appetites, too. Plus, serotonin is found in our gastrointestinal tracts – it helps with digestion. That explains why these medications can cause stomach upset.

I’ve been taking a SSRI* for almost 20 years and until today I had no idea how it worked. Shame on me! Maybe tomorrow I’ll research the rest of my medications.

*selective-serotonin reuptake inhibitor: an antidepressant drug that acts by blocking the reuptake of serotonin so that more serotonin is available to act on receptors in the brain

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_serotonin_do
Sad Face - PhotoBucket

I’m worried…

I’m worried about some things right now…. Some little things and some big things. Worrying about these things doesn’t make them go away or make me feel any better about them. As a matter of fact, the more I worry about them, the worse I feel.
The Bible instructs us - ”Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Why is it so hard for us to give our worries to God? It seems that if God is willing to take over our burdens and give us peace of mind, we would jump at the chance. What gives? Maybe we are afraid He won’t handle the situations the way we would if we were in charge! Maybe we enjoy being worry-warts. Could be it’s just our human nature to resist letting go of our baggage.
When I worry about things, I pray for God to intervene – and then, I promptly follow up with HOW he should handle the situations. I mean, I know He’s pretty busy with the rest of the world and I’m just trying to save Him some time…. Surely, I’m not the only one that does this! And, if He doesn’t resolve the situation to my satisfaction, within the time period that I feel necessary… Well, that’s just a whole other story! Hey, maybe that’s why we don’t turn our worries over to God – what if He fixes our problems BUT we totally don’t approve of the way He did it. That’s gonna leave us with something else to worry about!
Seriously, I believe God answers our prayers one of three ways…. YES, NO and MAYBE LATER. I also believe that God is a loving Father and not a vengeful Lord. I believe He carries our worries and answers our prayers the way He does because He loves us. We need to TRUST Him with all our concerns!

Will you Give Me a Drink?

John 4: 7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?"

This is one of my favorite Bible stories for many reasons:

#1 – This woman was not a respected person of her Samaritan community. First of all, she had been married five times previously and was living with a man at that time that wasn’t her husband. (She probably chose to fetch her water in the heat of day because she didn’t want to run into anyone she knew.) Regardless of her past and current situation, Jesus didn’t show her prejudice.

#2 – She was a Samaritan – someone that was a natural enemy of a Jew. Samaritans were considered unclean in that day and age. Some scholars have stated that they may have practiced interracial marriages - something that was very frowned upon at that time. Yet, again Jesus didn’t show her prejudice.

#3 – She was a woman – Jesus was a Rabbi. Men, especially educated men, were not supposed to speak to women in public – especially women with reputations! Yet, Jesus treated this woman with respect.

#4 – This five-time married, unclean Samaritan woman was not only treated with respect by Jesus…. She was THE FIRST PERSON HE ADMITTED TO that HE WAS THE SON OF GOD! This story is the only time in the Bible that Jesus ever claims He is the Messiah until the time of His Resurrection.

#5 – Not only did Jesus not ridicule this woman about her past, He gave her respect by allowing her to be used as an instrument in His ministry. When she left the well, she went and told others about HIM!
This story showed me many years ago, that Jesus has love and compassion great enough to forgive us no matter what our sins. Unconditional love! Love with no bounds. God’s grace is amazing!

When I felt I was unworthy, unloved, unforgivable – God was there! Now, He is allowing me the chance to perhaps help another person. I hope to be able to spread His love til my last breath….

Photo - en.wikipedia.org

The Agony of Depression

I was 21 years, had an 11 month old child, a good job and loyal friends – Yet, I was suicidal. Below is a poem that I wrote on August 12, 1987 (Twelve years before I was diagnosed Bi Polar.):

The Cure

If I could get past the confusion
To the depths of my mind
Past the lies and delusions
What would I find?
I’d find a lonely, scared child
Just longing for love
A young spirit sailing
On the wings of a dove
I’d find out the reason
I can’t be my own friend
I’d find the source of my pain
And I’d make it end
Death is inviting
When feel so unsure
It’s the only solution
The only real cure
Who can you turn to
To open up your heart?
How can you tell them
When you’re falling apart?
You want their acceptance
To show them that you’re strong
But peace and tranquility
Just won’t come along
It has to get better
Yes, that’s what I thought
But deeper in confusion
I seem to get caught

I wanted answers so much back then! I wanted to know the SOURCE to my pain. I'm so blessed that God gave me the strength to hold on until I found out the reason for my agony. Not only did God educate me – He placed people in my life that I needed to guide me on my road to recovery. My life may never be what others consider “normal”, but I feel fortunate to be able to live with my “normal”.

Mental Illness – Myths and Facts*

Myth: Mental illnesses are brought on by a weakness of character.
Fact: Mental illnesses are a product of the interaction of biological, psychological, and social factors. Social influences, like the loss of a loved one or a job, can also contribute to the development of various mental health problems.

Myth: There's no hope for people with mental illnesses.
Fact: There are more treatments, services, and community support systems than ever before, and more are in the works. People with mental illnesses lead active, productive lives.

Myth: People with mental illnesses are violent and unpredictable.
Fact: Actually, the vast majority of people with mental health conditions are no more violent than anyone else. People with mental illnesses are much more likely to be the victims of crime. You probably know someone with a mental illness and don't even realize it.

Myth: Mental illnesses don't affect me.
Fact: Mental illnesses are surprisingly common; they affect almost every family in America. Mental illnesses do not discriminate—they can affect anyone.

*For a more comprehensive list of MYTHS and FACTS – check out:
http://www.whatadifference.samhsa.gov/learn.asp?nav=nav01_1&content=1_1_mythsfacts

A Newsong for my life….

Yesterday, I went to Newsong Music Festival with several thousand other people. Newsong is an opportunity for Christians, mostly youth, to get together, listen to inspiring music, hear wonderful testimonies and really enjoy each other’s company. I truly had a wonderful time!
At one time I would have made a million excuses NOT to go to an event like this. I would have been uncomfortable being with so many other people – having to put on my “oh, I’m so happy” face while I felt like I was dying inside. Sometimes even going out to dinner with friends was/is too overwhelming to even consider!
How did/do I manage to get the strength to move forward during those times? Sometimes I asked God for the strength. Sometimes I pushed myself for my family…. And other times I didn’t find the strength at all. I realize now I missed a lot of wonderful opportunities during my life because of my depression but I also realize no matter what - I couldn’t force myself to change those circumstances at those times. I did the best I could. I continue to do the best I can everyday in every situation.
There may come a time in the future when I’ll miss another wonderful opportunity for an unforgettable family memory or a once in a lifetime event with friends. But if I know in my heart, I’m doing the best I can do in this world – I’m okay with that. God has blessed me with a lot more “better” times than not and I try to cherish all the opportunities He gives me!

A Few Inspirational Quotes

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart..... Confucius

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up....The Reverend Jesse Jackson

Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.... Adair Lara

Yes, I do touch. I believe that everyone needs that....Princess of Wales Diana

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things....Antonio Smith

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.....Mark Twain

Happiness is not a destination in which you arrive, it is your journey there…. Anonymous

and my favorite…..

Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, And dance like no-one's watching.... Anonymous

It Gets Better

I really like this song. Not only can you read the words and interrupt them to be coming from a person…. I get comfort imagining them coming from Jesus’ perspective. Remember Jesus walked in this world as a man*… He knows our pain as humans! He was God with us!



It Gets Better – Jo Dee Messina (Delicious Surprise Album)
THIS OLD WORLD CAN BE CRUEL SOMETIMES
WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS YOU CAN’T SEEM TO FIND
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH

OH I KNOW IT CAN GET LONELY OUT THERE
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE NOBODY CARES
WELL YOU LOOK AROUND THINKING IF THEY ONLY KNEW
WELL I DO

I’VE FELT THE CHILL OF THIS WORLD CUT DOWN TO THE BONE
I’VE WALKED MANY A MILE DOWN THIS ROAD ON MY OWN
I’VE BEEN THROUGH HELL ON MY KNEES - COME FACE TO FACE WITH THE DEVIL
AND I KNOW THAT IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE - BUT IT GETS BETTER

TIME IS A HEALER BUT WE CAN’T SEE HOW
WHEN YOU’RE CAUGHT IN THE MOMENT AND THE HURTING IS NOW
WE DON’T WANNA SEE THAT MAYBE SOMETHINGS WEREN’T MEANT TO FIGURE OUT

I’VE FELT THE CHILL OF THIS WORLD CUT DOWN TO THE BONE
I’VE WALKED MANY A MILE DOWN THIS ROAD ON MY OWN
I’VE BEEN THROUGH HELL ON MY KNEES - COME FACE TO FACE WITH THE DEVIL
AND I KNOW THAT IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE - BUT IT GETS BETTER

THIS OLD WORLD CAN BE CRUEL SOMETIMES
WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
WELL JUST KEEP IN MIND - NO YOU’RE NOT ALONE
WE’RE ALL TRYING TO FIND OUR WAY THROUGH THIS LIFE

I’VE FELT THE CHILL OF THIS WORLD CUT DOWN TO THE BONE
I’VE WALKED MANY A MILE DOWN THIS ROAD ON MY OWN
I’VE BEEN THROUGH HELL ON MY KNEES - COME FACE TO FACE WITH THE DEVIL
AND I KNOW THAT IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE - BUT IT GETS BETTER

*I think the best perspective of Jesus’ life, feelings and thoughts are portrayed in the Gospel of John.

Photo - www.findtarget.com

“You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”

Every 10 years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak 2 words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”*

I was 29 when I stopped smoking. Coincidently, I was 29 when I started taking my first anti-depressant. My son, bless his heart, told me a couple of weeks later, “Mom, I’m glad you quit smoking. You were mean when you smoked!” He had no idea that the anti-depressants were what had made me less “mean”. He thought the cigarettes were the culprit to my anger. I think I was more relieved than my son that I wasn’t “mean” anymore. It tears a person up to carry around that much anger.

You see, when I was younger, I was “complicated” (to put it nicely). I was like the monk in the joke. If there was something to complain about - I found it. Then, I made sure that everyone around me knew about my unhappiness with the situation. Sometimes, if I felt more out of sorts that normal, I would actually look for something to be upset about. Why? My best guess would be – I wanted everyone else to feel the confusion, anger, unease, rage, displacement, hurt, and madness that I was feeling. The confused feelings that I had 24/7 that would not go away.

My “madness” peeked when I was 23 or 24 and continued until I was diagnosed Manic Depressive at 33. Even with the anti-depressants I was given, the cycling really got out of control. (I had to go through several medication rotations before finding a regimen that worked for me.) My lows were very low… I would spend days in bed without eating or showering - crying uncontrollable. My highs were just as bad. I once charged about $2000 while shopping in a matter of days…. Money I didn’t have. I had no idea what was wrong with me! That was a very long 10 years of living in my own personal Hell. (Not to mention what I subjected my family and friends to in the process.)

One of the reasons it took me so long to get help…. I was embarrassed to get help! I was embarrassed to tell someone how I was feeling! I had gone to counseling most of my adult life and yet I hadn’t even been honest with my therapist during those years. I couldn’t explain how I felt on the inside without sounding like I was crazy. I felt I couldn’t tell her how I was acting at home without her thinking less of me. Mental Illness was/is so TABOO. But, finally, I decided to open up – It was either get better or give up.

If you are struggling, remember: Your life can be amazing…. I know – I’ve made it through the darkness to be here today!


*From Reader’s Digest June 2009 America’s 10 Funniest Jokes
Joke #4 Submitted by Alan Lynch

Why don’t you “Just Snap out of it”?

If you suffer from depression or if you have a friend or loved one that suffers from depression, I bet the following five words have gone through your mind at one time or another: “Just snap out of it!” If you are the person with depression, you’d do just about anything to snap out of it. If you are a family member or friend, you sometimes can’t understand why the person won’t just snap out of it. It’s definitely an AHA moment for family and friends when they truly begin to understand that YOU can’t just turn depression on and off like a faucet. It’s not a choice – it’s a disease.
I was listening to “Insight for Living” with Chuck Swindoll* on the radio the other day, (I’m addicted to talk radio!) and he was talking about choices. He was describing that there are so many things in life that we have choices about - what we eat, what we wear, what we say at any given moment… AND there are many things we have no choice about – For instance, we cannot choose to grow younger and we cannot choose to not be terminally ill. Well, you know what? I did not choose to suffer from depression or have a thing called Bi Polar Mixed State. But, according to Mr. Swindoll (and I happen to agree with him): People may need to go through something bad in order to help someone that’s going through something worse.
Remember - God never leaves us during those times that we just can’t snap out it. If we’re really lucky, and we find the tools to get a handle on this thing called depression, He just might give us an opportunity to help others that are going through what we were going through. Then we have another type of choice. : )


*http://www.insight.org/

Nelson Mandela once said....

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

The Easy Button

You ever wish you had an “Easy Button?” I bet if there were such a thing as an Easy Button for life, Staples would be sold out all the time. People, on the average, tend to look for the easy way out of situations, don’t they? Heck, why wouldn’t they? If we could just look at a basket of dirty laundry, ladies, and it magically wash, dry, iron and hang its self up, wouldn’t we be pretty ecstatic? If we could get a 40 hour paycheck and only work 10 hours a week, wouldn’t we do it? But, you know what? I’ve never found a boss that was willing to go for that and I bet you haven’t either.
The fact of the matter is this… If you want the privilege of living in a huge home and driving a luxury car, you’re gonna have to put some hours in at work. If you want a fantastic relationship with your spouse, you’re gonna have to listen to what they say and appreciate their feelings and needs. If you want an education, you’re gonna have to hit the books. In almost every instance in life – when you want something, you have to give something (of yourself).
I’ll tell you something else, too. The harder I had to work at getting something in life – a college degree, for instance – the sweeter the success! It seems when something is handed to you, it’s easier to take it for granted. (Now, I wouldn’t have agreed with that at all when I was younger!)
Sometimes, life has dealt me situations that have made me feel like just giving up. But, when I made it through those times, I noticed that I was stronger. I fought to get through those times – no one else could do it for me… and the next time darkness comes my way, I know I will have the strength to beat it again.
A past preacher once told me:

God tests you to bring out your best…
Satan tempts you to bring out your worst.

I choose not to take the “Easy Button” when it comes to my disease because I believe that’s what Satan wants me to do.



Easy Button – a product of Staples, Inc

Wii, Wii, Wii all the way to change

My husband and I just recently purchased a Wii. If you’re not familiar with the Nintendo Wii Gaming System – it makes it possible for you to “simulate” certain activities in the comfort of your home. For instance, with our system, we purchased a package that included bowling, golf, tennis, frisbee throwing, etc. My husband likes playing nearly all of the games but I have some back problems and I’m kinda partial to the bowling game.
Anyway, it’s seems almost every time my husband and I bowl against each other, and he’s not bowling well, he wants to start the game over! Now, we’re talking about a man who is almost 60 years old! Of course, I won’t let him hit the reset button. I tell him it’s not fair. I told him just today, “You can’t start life over if you don’t like the way it’s going.” Then, we both looked at each other for a second - You know what? Yes you can!
Years ago, when I didn’t like the way my life was going, I decided to hit the reset button. Years of living in fear and confusion because I didn’t understand what was going on inside my brain needed to end. I realized that choosing not to do something to change your life IS making a choice and I couldn’t live with that choice any longer. I decided to make a change.
When you suffer from mental illness, it’s a little like alcoholism, eating disorders or drug abuse. No one can make an alcoholic stop drinking…. No one can make a drug addict stop doing drugs… No one can make an anorexic eat. The same is true of someone suffering from a manageable mental illness. NO ONE can make you take your meds. NO ONE can make you go to counseling. NO ONE can make you hit the reset button… Only you.

Beauty

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” ~ Ashley Smith quote

A Fish named Lucy

I am petrified of water. Well, let me explain – not really water… DROWNING.
Now, of course, I take showers – quick ones… LOL. What I’m talking about is this:
I do not like swimming in a pool when someone else is around me.
I will not go in the ocean (to my son’s shock and dismay) without one of those big inner tubes snuggly around me waist.
I absolutely will not get in a lake, period! – (Funny thing is, I would as a child.)
If I do get into a pool or the ocean, I WILL NOT go UNDER water if ANYONE else is around me! (They may have secret intentions of holding me under as a joke, right?)
For these reasons (fears), I am totally in awe of fish… all kinds of fish.
They do something every day that I am terrified to do. Not only do they live in an environment that is scary to me – they do it so gracefully.

Recently, I purchased two Beta fish. My granddaughter named them Lucy and Lucy 2. Beta fish are particularly fascinating to me because not only are they like every other fish in that they breathe under water, they also must be able to reach the top of the tank for frequent breaths of air. They also don’t require tank filtration or any of the other expensive set ups other fish require. An added plus is that they are beautiful!

Anyway, I bought a male and a female beta because you never put two males together – they’ll kill each other. Heck, you’re lucky if you can put a “couple” together. So, I set the bowl up with a small artificial plant and put the fish in there. I held my breath…. He chased her around for a couple of minutes but they seemed to do okay. The next day, when I went to fed them, she was “hiding out” in the leaves of the artificial plant. When I dropped the food in, he started chasing her again but eventually they both ate and settled down. After about three days of this, I started to worry about her. I decided I would put her in a separate bowl, next to him. I mean, I was afraid he might hurt her.

Well, let me tell you… I put her in a bowl next to his and they both went berserk! She kept swimming in circles in her bowl and he kept swimming in circles in his bowl. Every so often they would stop, right next to each other – in their own bowls – and, I swear, they would stare at each other! I felt HORRIBLE! After about 20 minutes of watching this, I decided to put her back in the bowl with him.

Every day, when it’s time to feed them, I find her in the leaves of the artificial plant. Once the food is dropped in, he starts chasing her around – just like the day before….

I’ve learned something from Lucy and Lucy 2. You see certain parts of a person’s life and you tend to draw conclusions and assume you know all about that person and their situation. You decide that you know what is best for that person. We almost never know what is best for anyone else…. Sometimes we don’t even know what is best for ourselves.

Photo - commons.wikimedia.org

An Asaph Psalm

Psalm 77 (The Message)

1 I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens.

2-6 I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
my life was an open wound that wouldn't heal.
When friends said, "Everything will turn out all right,"
I didn't believe a word they said.
I remember God—and shake my head.
I bow my head—then wring my hands.
I'm awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
I can't even say what's bothering me.
I go over the days one by one,
I ponder the years gone by.
I strum my lute all through the night,
wondering how to get my life together.

7-10 Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good?
Will he never smile again?
Is his love worn threadbare?
Has his salvation promise burned out?
Has God forgotten his manners?
Has he angrily stalked off and left us?
"Just my luck," I said. "The High God goes out of business
just the moment I need him."

11-12 Once again I'll go over what GOD has done,
lay out on the table the ancient wonders;
I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished,
and give a long, loving look at your acts.

13-15 O God! Your way is holy!
No god is great like God!
You're the God who makes things happen;
you showed everyone what you can do—
You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble,
rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.

16-19 Ocean saw you in action, God,
saw you and trembled with fear;
Deep Ocean was scared to death.
Clouds belched buckets of rain,
Sky exploded with thunder,
your arrows flashing this way and that.
From Whirlwind came your thundering voice,
Lightning exposed the world,
Earth reeled and rocked.
You strode right through Ocean,
walked straight through roaring Ocean,
but nobody saw you come or go.

20 Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron,
You led your people like a flock of sheep.

No Matter How you Slice it….

No matter how you slice it, Mental Illness always has been and probably always will be a taboo subject. I suppose the main reason could be because most people don’t understand it. What is it that makes “IT” choose certain members of families and skip others? Why do medications make life manageable for some people, yet other people must spend their lives institutionalized? Doctors may understand it but lay people sure don’t.
Friends and family members may not want to talk to you about it because they don’t know what to say to you about it. Heck, they may even be embarrassed because you have “it”. I choose to tell folks about my illness early in our friendship because I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable about it later if it comes up. I want them to know they can come to me with questions. But, most of all, I need to be honest with them when I’m cycling.
But, here’s a word of caution – not everyone is going to welcome your news with open arms. Like I said, no matter how you slice it, Mental Illness always has been and probably always will be a taboo subject.
FYI:
In a survey of 2,000 people across Britain, almost 30% said they would find it difficult to admit publicly to having a mental illness, compared with 20% who said they would have difficulty coming out as gay. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/feb/20/mental-health-taboo)
In the genre of “things you don’t talk about at dinner parties,” mental health issues rank higher than politics, sex, and religion. (http://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-break-the-mental-health-taboo)

The End of the World as We Know It….

On December 31, 1999 at 12:59pm, when nearly everyone in the world was terrified that their computers were going to crash, their money was going to be unavailable and the world as we know it was going to shut down – I was sitting on my ex-mother in law’s porch, staring at the stars… searching for SOMETHING. At the stroke of midnight, I wondered, “Is this it?”
I’ve written before that 1999 was the year that I was diagnosed Bi Polar. 1999 was the year I seriously contemplated suicide. 1999 was the year I wanted things to change! And yet, as I sat on that porch – looking at the magnificent world God created – I wondered, “Is this it?” Why? As I’ve stated in previous posts, I couldn’t let go of the guilt I held inside. The guilt I had because of things I had done when I was MANIC. The guilt I had because of things I had done when I was DEPRESSED. For once, I was taking medication that had me on an even keel and the guilt was eating me up.
I knew that God’s grace covered me but I couldn’t forgive myself! I was baptized as a teen. My mom, my sister and I all were baptized together. (Now, I’m not going to get into a debate here about the religious views on baptism or about how it should be done or if one time covers you for life – I’m just telling MY story….) I knew I was forgiven in God’s eyes – but not in my eyes. So, the very next Sunday, I asked my pastor to re-baptize me. That act was a symbol to cleanse myself, now that I was on the road to recovery, for God AND me. It was a powerful step in my recovery.
Anyway, the year 2000 came and went. The world didn’t end. In fact, my life kinda began again. Thanks be to God.

Drama, Drama, Drama

In past posts I have commented about medication for depression, bipolar, etc. There’s a couple of things I’d like to make very clear about MY experience with psychotic medication… While it has definitely gotten rid of most of the drama in my life, it isn’t a cure all. If you think you’re gonna go to the Dr, get some meds and everything is gonna be great – you’re in for a shock!
#1 – Some medications make you feel like a zombie – not only do you not have DRAMA, you have numbness.
#2 – It sometimes takes a LONG time to find the medications that work for YOU! – It took me about 3 years and 10 med changes.
#3 – Just because one medication is working today doesn’t mean it’s gonna work 2 years from now – your body changes. My chemistry changes with the seasons and my medications are tweaked accordingly.
#4 – Some people don’t even use medication! It’s up to you, your doctor and your family as to what regiment is gonna be best for YOU!
Pretty much, what I’m trying to say is this….
Nobody is gonna be exactly like anybody else. That's kinda like a blessing, though. Don’tcha think?