I was watching "House" today - a TV show about a very unorthodox doctor, named Gregory House - and he was trying to diagnose a patient's symptoms. If you ever watch the show, you know that all of the patients on this show have extremely difficult diseases to diagnose, and most aren't figured out till the last ten minutes of the show. Well, this episode wasn't any different.
The patient that was being evaluated this time basically had a type of amnesia - but with a twist. He suffered from a disorder called "Mirroring". Mirroring is a term which describes imitating or copying another person's characteristics, behaviors or traits. So, this guy basically became whoever was in the room with him. Because of this, it made it very difficult for the doctors to find out what was wrong with him.
Anyway, long story short... I really could relate to this character. You see, when I was at the height of my illness - when I wasn't taking medication or seeing a therapist on a regular basis - I counted on the people around me to "show" me how I was suppose to act in particular situations. My emotions were so far off the mark that I knew if I said and did the things my brain was telling me to say and do... well, it wouldn't have been pretty. (Unfortunately, a lot of times, I wasn't able to control myself.)
Thankfully, after 10 years of regulated medication and "honest" counseling, I feel like I am finally free. I feel like I am in control of myself. It's an amazing thing to FEEL emotions and be able to express them. God has been good to me. I am able to be ME - not a mirror of someone else - but the creation He made me to be. Thanks be to God!
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